Monday, September 17, 2018

Keep Going - Nobody Gives a Shit!

Let's cut the crap and just get straight to the point of this post.. 

Nobody gives a shit about how you feel or What you have to say!

Weren't expecting that one were you? 
Yeah me either, but here we are. 
Good Morning! Welcome!

For as far back as I can remember, and that memory leads back to elementary school, I have always had a label attached to me. Now I know you're thinking..Damn Ash, you are such an individual I've never heard of anyone in the history of ever being labeled before. I'm not clueless, I know that I am not the only one out there who is carrying around a bag of words in my purse that I've collected over the years. But, this is my memory so stick with me here...

I'm not going to lie to you, my biggest defense mechanism growing up was one of two things: Stay silent and ignore or Fight Fire with Fire. There was no in-between. But I picked my battles and I think it was better that way. Here is another truth: I had no backbone growing up, I have talked about this before. I would literally lay down in the middle of the street and get ran over by a tractor before I decided to fight back. I hated confrontation and I still do. I learned quickly, around my teenage years, that sometimes people want to see how far they can push you just so they can watch you snap out of their own amusement. And once I learned that, I became aware of which battles I thought were worth it or not. Spark Note: Little to None were worth it. So, I took about 5 leaps back and just stuck to my own. No feeding the wolf, all is well. And yet,  by me making the decision to step back and not fight back - I was labeled. Teenagers - They Suck. It's a lose-lose when you're a teenager. Spark Note: People suck when you're an adult too..

Because then I was an adult and I had shed all of those labels off. I had emptied my purse and left my baggage behind somewhere between the day I graduated High School to The first day I walked into my first college class. Because you know, You're SO adult now that you're in college. *rolls my eyes and chuckles* A few years later, around 20, I realized that I in fact wasn't so adult, but I tried. And then. Labels. Label after Label started filling my purse again and I could feel my spine chipping away one vertebrae after another and I fell back into that defense mode of a girl with no backbone again. I willingly just laid back down and waited for the tractor. 

Luckily, this only lasted a few years before I stood back up and thought - Screw this. I am Ashlee. and that should be enough. No, it is enough. Sometimes I don't say enough, Sometimes I say too much and Sometimes it's the wrong thing because I get too emotionally involved. I still pick my battles because I am a firm believer that not everything requires a comment and not everything deserves our attention. If you don't feed the wolf, it won't have a reason to bite you. Around the time we got married I told SR that I was taking  a weed-wacker and flinging that baby left and right to get rid of all that wasn't worth it, needed, or brought happiness. It worked, tremendously. And I've spent the last 4 years doing spring cleaning with weed killer and a weed-wacker in hand. I am a modern-day Kill Bill. HEAR ME ROAR! and yet - Labeled. 

And then it hit me - Nobody gives a shit how you feel and what you have to say! Not a damn person on this planet. Truly. 

It's in our human nature to try to defend ourselves and I get it, because we should. But some people take defending ourselves as feeding the argument. Some people get off on getting a response, and some people take what they want and twist your words. And that's just how it is. Nobody cares what you have to say. People are going to see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear. So here is what I think we should all do, because this is what I have done for years now - Shit, the last 8 months alone - I stopped giving a shit what people had to say. And I stopped explaining myself. I stopped. That's that. I stopped. I drop kicked the shit out of that hungry wolf and I happily skipped my way to grandmothers house. Guess what? Labeled. But Guess what? Nobody Cares! 

We are always going to be labeled - someone is going to try to define us and someone is going to try to stop us in our tracks - That's life. I've learned that it's totally okay to take a weed-wacker and go crazy. We are going to be labeled anyways so we might as well make it fun and entertaining.

"Nobody can make you feel Inferior without Your Consent". - Elenor Roosevelt. 

and it's true - nobody. So backbone or not, keep going! That little mantra came to me a few weeks ago when I was drinking my coffee on our porch. Keep Going! When you find your path, it makes it easier to keep going. When you find who you are and you stop explaining who that person is to everyone else, it makes it easier to keep going. When you stop picking up the labels, it makes it easier to keep going. and when you realize that Nobody gives a shit...It makes it easier to not give a shit either! So, Keep Going!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Let's start a Conversation - A