Thursday, June 7, 2018


"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer

What if you've been looking at something from the wrong direction? What if you've been taking your situation for granted? And what if all you needed to do was take a step back to get a closer look? If you are nodding your head and thinking, "Girl, Yes" - Don't worry, I've been there and I've got you covered...


Lately it seems like there have been things thrown in my path which have forced me to take a step back and take a closer look at the bigger picture; Look beyond myself to really see myself. My Grandma passing on mine and speedracers wedding anniversary, my childhood home being sold, my parents moving out of state, Learning to Let Go etc. All of these big changes that I've mentioned several times before but only referring to them as storms. And it's true - I've been drowning here - and this last weekend took a lot out of me. Mentally, Physically, and Emotionally. June has started off bumpy; and that's okay. 


I really began focusing on seeing things from a different perspective after a service at Church a few weeks back. The service was about reading the bible from a different perspective and how to stop searching for things that will tell us about ourselves. There is a reason why so many find the bible confusing and hard to read, and that is because when we read it, we are reading it in hopes of finding something that helps us reveal what WE should DO. and in hopes of learning something NEW about OURSELVES. But we have it all wrong. We should read the bible from the perspective of God. And we should allow his words and his actions to reveal more of HIMSELF to US. Perspective. 

The last night we spent in my parents house, a week ago, we slept in my old bedroom on a air mattress. I told Speedracer, "This sucks. I'm sleeping on an air mattress in my own room. I don't want to go to sleep because I don't want it to be tomorrow. I don't want to say goodbye." -- and he reminded me of something that's important, really important, Gratitude. To have gratitude for the home we share together, and for the home my family spent 22 years in. He reminded me by saying, "We can still drive by this house and see it whenever we want. Think about the people who lost their homes in fires, hurricanes, and other disasters. All of their things are gone and they can't drive past their homes because they aren't there." -- Perspective. Sometimes I forget how smart of a man I married. and it truly had me thinking. Wow, I am being ungrateful right now. and wow, I can still drive past this home whenever I want; some people don't have that luxury. 

Four days later, we got back from sacramento after being at the airport since 4:30am where we headed straight to SR's baseball game in which took us forever to get into because of a marathon happening in downtown, and I was exhausted. We got home and I didn't want to do a dang thing. Monday morning I woke up excited that I could spend the whole day vegging on the couch watching netflix. and I did just that. I needed a full day to recharge and relax my body and my mind. I could have complained that I was exhausted from traveling, packing up my childhood home, driving 11 hours to Sacramento, getting no sleep, had 2 days worth of funeral services for my Grandma, and spent sunday morning traveling...But, I didn't. I just sat with being exhausted and I let myself just BE how I was at that moment in time. I was healthy, I got to spend the weekend with my family, I got to play card games and laugh with my cousins who I don't see very often, I got to laugh, cry, and talk with my mom for 11 hours on a car ride, I'm blessed to have a supportive husband, and I was reminded of where I came from. Perspective.


So here is the truth: It's easy to complain, to blame, to be ungrateful. It's easy to fall into negative patterns when it seems like everything around you is on a time bomb blowing up in your face. And we can easily decide to blame all of our circumstances on others and bad luck. Or, we can take a step back and gain a little bit of perspective. Self-awareness is key when it comes to looking at something from a different perspective. When I find myself in the same patterns I have to ask myself: Why do I feel this way, What makes this so bad, How can I change my circumstance? What am I not seeing? -- We are conditioned to see things in one way, we believe that there is only one side to every story, one side to each problem, and it's one way or no way. This is where we are wrong and where I believe we fall into negative, repetitive patterns. 

Perspective. Is one of the biggest key players in my recent self-care, self-growth and reevaluation on my life. I'm allowed to reinvent myself; but in doing so I needed to take a step back and gain a new perspective. I looked at myself from all angles, and it's true, I may not understand some parts of me and I may be clueless when it comes to why people have certain feelings towards me. But opinions are just opinions, they aren't a definition of who I am. Perspective. My Grandma didn't pass, My Parents didn't move, all to spite me. It's life, and change is going to occur. Circumstances change, just as we do - and we can complain or we can fall in line and figure out how to continue on. There is growth in Perspective. There is gratitude in the perspective. Great things start to happen the moment you decide to change your perspective...If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change....Remember that! 

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