Monday, October 2, 2017

Welcoming a Somber October

"It's October again, leaves are comin' down. One more years come and gone; and nothings changed at all. Wasn't I supposed to be someone to face the fears that I've been running from? Let me feel, I don't care if break down. Let me fall, even if I hit the ground and if I cry a little, die a little, at least I'll know I lived just a little." 

We said goodbye to September with our hearts heavy and minds wandering with questions of "Now What?". SpeedRacers Grandpa passed away at the end of August and knowing we had to face his memorial at the end of September was one we weren't prepared for. We looked onto October, knowing the month would begin with a somber feeling at his Celebration of Life. But it turned out beautifully and was full of good friends, great food, and family - Just the way it should have been. And so, we move into October - our hearts a little heavier than before but with hopes that Grandpa will guide us through this next chapter of our lives.

Today the world woke up to the news of the horrific shooting in Las Vegas. I cannot even begin to understand what everyone is going through whom attended the concert, nor can I relate to their loved ones who haven't been in contact yet. Lately I've tried to stay away from the news because everything is getting heavier & heavier. From Natural disasters to Mass Shootings, my heart is so very heavy, but my prayers go out to everyone affected. I'm praying for the world, I'm praying for comfort in the these times of trouble. 

October has always been a month of reflection for me. I've had my moments where I throw my hands up in the air and say "Fine October, You win," because there's been moments of complete emotional, mental, and physical defeat in past octobers. But each year I find myself deeply connected to the month and all that comes of it. I call it, "My Pre-New Year," and I begin to reflect on the year I just had and what the next will bring. October is always the time where I really get rooted in my Yoga practice and sitting in complete silence with the world. Sometimes it's hard to believe that such sadness and pain can come in a time that's supposed to be full of beautiful colors, family gatherings, and comfort food. And then here is October, reminding us that the world doesn't stop spinning just because this is the greatest time of year where we are supposed to feel Love and Joy. So, we push on, and believe that with the people around us, we can look onto better days ahead - That we can make it through the holiday seasons without feeling pain and sorrow that's been caused by either a heartbreak in our own lives or tragedy that's hit the world around us. We continue to push on knowing that the world might be turning a little slower but it hasn't stop. 

This morning, as each morning, I did my daily devotional and I searched for words to make sense of it all. And I was brought to this: 

JOHN 14:26-27 "But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my Peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." 

What a beautiful reminder to always remain with the peace that our Father has gifted to us. The world can be cold, dark, and sometimes feel so lonely & helpless. But just knowing that out of that darkness comes a light, warmth, and peace. That's God. That's his Peace. And that is what keeps me going through the long Octobers. 

October has begun somber, that is true, but we can choose to struggle through the rest of the month OR we can choose to find solace in God's Peace. We can choose to be angry OR we can choose to find solace in God's Love. We Can Choose....So what we will choose?

"Love without expecting, Love without Fear..Love, Love, Love"

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