Friday, October 9, 2015

Letters to my Younger Self:

Age 15 
Dear Ashlee, You are 15. 
Which means you finally made it through your freshman year of High School, which seeing as you got in a lot of trouble last year due to your Spring Break adventures, I'm surprised you made it to 15. But you are now a Sophomore. Well Ashlee, Sophomore Year is going to get interesting to say the least. You'll start hanging out with the JR Girls who hang out with the Senior Girls. They'll become your Best Friends, but don't forget about your other friends, they will be there for you when crap hits the fan, and trust's going to go down. But before it does, Enjoy spending time with your Choir family. You'll enjoy the late nights driving around town, off roading, and challenging a Senior and College Guy to a Beer chugging competition. You win, by the way, so...Good Job! You are going to become really close with a guy friend of yours, he is a senior and has a really awesome car. You've known him for a few years now but you will fall into a romantic relationship with him. You'll fall really hard and your parents will get mad at you for staying up until 3am to text this boy. You'll leave campus for lunch, even though you're not allowed to, and you'll sometimes forget to go to 5th period so you can hang out with this boy. But I'm sorry to say, 15 year old Ashlee, he is going to break your heart in a million pieces. But don't worry, your best friend J will be there for you to cry on her lap the 45 minutes of lunch break. You'll find comfort in one of your guy friends, R, who will eventually tell you that you're not enough, you aren't pretty, and you should commit suicide. I beg of you to not listen to him, even though you do, and you wear black for 2 solid months until J pulls you back to reality. and you'll realize how fabulous you are! Because 15 year old Ashlee, You are super fabulous and to remember that you're fabulous, you will start your very first Blog call "Life is for the Living, the Forgiving, and For Leaving Town Alive". Continue to look at the world through your Rose-Colored Glasses, because you see the world like nobody else does. You find the Beauty in every moment and every person. When you turn 16, it will become your best quality. 

Age 16
Dear Ashlee, Happy Sweet 16. 
You survived the hardest year of your High School Experience! Great Job! And now you have decided to have your hair in full on braids because that's what everyone was doing at CYT camp. It was easily the best decision you've made thus far. Your worst decision is going to be at 16, you'll meet a boy, okay, he is a man. he is 21. and You'll fall head over heels for him. What the hell were you thinking dating someone 5 years older than you? But Ashlee, appreciate this person with every fiber of your being. R will easily become one of the best humans you've ever come across in your life, even when he breaks your heart for the next 3 years. People will bully you about dating him, actually you'll be bullied in general because you just don't fit in anywhere, but R will have your back through-and-through. He will even throw someone up against the wall for bullying you. This year, you'll enjoy a lot of house party's at with your two best friends, H and A. And you'll literally never go to 5th or 6th period because Carne Asada Fries and Smirnoff will be more important. You're kind of an idiot by the way. Because yes, you'll find yourself sitting in a drive way drinking Jaeger at 3:45am when the cops drive by. They don't stop though, surprisingly. These memories will be the best ones of your life. So live it up. You'll also go the Prom this year, with someone completely random, and you'll both realize going together was a huge mistake. You'll realize this as your getting your hair done several hours before Prom. Oops! But girl, Go Enjoy Yourself! You have a hell of a time with your friends at this prom. It's your JR Year and all of your Senior Friends are graduating at going away to college. Take the time to be Sweet 16, which I know you do, because your screen on your bedroom window is broken from how many times you sneak out and leave the house. Your parents will find out about this too, eventually. Don't lie to Mom, She knows everything and you'll find this out soon enough. 

Age 17
Dear Ashlee, You are at the best Age yet. 17. and girl do you do damage on your 17th year. You can thank your best friend, A, for that one. Enjoy your SENIOR YEAR to the fullest because it's going to become the best year of your life. Get ready to embarrass yourself at the Homecoming Football game. Telling D you've liked him all 4 years of high school will end in a huge embaressment for you when his reply is "Thanks." Don't worry, you'll bounce back. Especially when you decide to spend the rest of Senior Year trying to make him jealous....this doesn't actually work until your 18th birthday. You will convince your dad into letting you paint your room Red. It will become the coolest room ever because you decorated it with help of your parents who allowed you to do some crazy things to your walls. You'll be happy spending most of your days in your room with a paint brush and blank paint. Your room is going to become your sanctuary so enjoy every single moment of it which I know you will because you're you and you're always finding a way to enjoy life. A, will throw a huge 2 night party at her house while her parents are in Vegas and it will have way more people than you anticipated. It's totally okay too, that you crashed another party and told all their guests to come to your party. You didn't actually think they'd listen and then before you guys know it, 20 something people will walk through the front door of A's house. You'll also pass out in a closet this night, just a fair warning, and the whole party will stop because A decided everyone needed to look for you. Later in the year you will come to realize that this whole "party" scene is only fun when you're drunk and not having to play mama bear to someone who almost dies of alcohol poisioning. You'll spend 4 hours holding her as she throws up on you and you'll get caught the next day because her mother ends up calling your mom. It wasn't the best idea to drive 3 hours with strangers and party with people you didn't know. You still did a lot of stupid, questionable things, and surprisingly never got arrested with A. Also, you and A don't break her rental car so go ahead and continue to launch it off dips and bumps in the road. Also, have fun washing the Jack N Coke out of your hair when it gets dumped all over you since someone didn't hold their drink down when you were in mid car launch. Also, why the hell do you have Alcohol in a car? Idiots. Damn that was fun though! And now, you've graduated High School. Holy Crap, You made it!!

Age 18
Dear Ashlee, You are a legal adult now.
You and A are still doing some crazy, questionable things. Like, drinking on her 18th birthday at LIPS and getting caught by a drag queen. It's totally okay, they don't stop the fun because you party like all hell when you get home that night. Oh, and that boy who broke your heart at 15? He will be there too. And you'll speak to him for the first time in 3 years. It's weird but you are a forgiver. You will begin going to college and you'll start working. I'm really sorry to say that 18 is not an eventful year, at all. It's actually really boring and all of your friends have gone away and are really busy. You'll become great friends with some of your old CYT buddies and your adventures will be awesome. Disneyland, Six Flags, and Driving around San Diego will make for some good memories. You'll also be convinced that you are in love with your friend, I , and I promise that you are not. So just bare with me on this one and ride through that one. But now, you're 19, and that's a cool year. 

Age 19
Dear Ashlee, Surprisingly, you'll really enjoy 19. You're teaching at CYT, you're going to school, and you have really good friends. You'll become very close with your best guy friend, C, again. You'll spend your nights at his house making dinner/dessert and watching movies. Nothing in particular happens to you at age 19, but you're going to be really pleased with how smoothly it goes. Age 19 is also when you get close to one of your guy friends from high school, B. For the love of God, Ashlee, I am telling you now. You are not going to marry him. He isn't the one. But, go ahead and live in your fairytale land that he is the perfect guy and he is the one for you. It won't last long, because he will end up going through some really dark stuff and You can't save him. So stop trying so hard. You'll end up sitting in your room, at your desk, for nights and mornings on in crying your eyes out over him. It's going to be a really hard couple of months for you.  and everyone well be telling you that you cannot change someone even though you think you can because you're Ashlee. And even when you turn 20 and still think he is the one. You're in for the surprise of your life. 

Age 20
Dear Ashlee, you are 20 and this is going to be a life changing year for you. You're going into your 20th year thinking you're going to be with B your whole entire life. And then, not too long after your 20th Birthday, Your best Friend A will invite you to go watch some racing at Barona Speedway. GO, even though you'll be exhausted because you just had a 6 hour rehearsal for a show and you were in a car accident earlier in the day. GO TO THE RACE TRACK. Why you ask? Because it's there that you'll hear the name of a boy you've never met. His name is D, but you'll end up calling him SweetPea, which eventually will become SpeedRacer. You are really stubborn, Ashlee. So much drama and heartache could have been avoided in the early months of Age 20 if you would just realize that B is not the one for you. But, you're stubborn so keep on deciding that you love him. Poor D is  waiting for you, for whatever reason. He waits a while too, by the way. At A's 20th Birthday Party in September, D will personally introduce himself to you and the month after that you'll realize he is the one you're going to marry. You'll have to break B's heart, and I'm letting you know now that it gets ugly and it get's ugly fast. But, Brace yourself and hold on for the ride because I promise you it will all be over soon and you'll be in bubble of happiness with your new racing boyfriend. Yes, BOYFRIEND! You finally get yourself a boyfriend. I know, it's been 20 years past due. He is a real catch, so hold on to him. Literally, his exes are crazy. Welcome to your 20's Ashlee, it's going to be a damn whirlwind. 

Dear Ashlee Ages 21-25....I have things to tell you so please be patient. 

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