Thursday, June 18, 2015

25 and Alive



Happy 25th Birthday, Ashlee Michelle. 

It's crazy to me, waking up this morning knowing that I have made it to my 25th year of life. I have such a memory that I still feel like I just celebrated my 13th birthday at the race track, my 15th birthday tiki pool party, my 16th birthday watching a broadway show, 17 at disneyland, 18 celebrating graduating high school, 20th plaid themed sleepover, and we can't forget turning 21 having a huge mexican fiesta bash, 22, 23, 24.....but now, I'm 25. and I'm not exactly sure how it got here so quickly. I'm not sure where the years have gone and why it seems like my birthday gets here faster every year when it seemed to take forever to come around when I was younger. Is this what growing older does? Is this what happens to our lives? and I'm I the only one waiting for Taylor Swift to come out with a song called "25" so I know what to do with this next year? Hmmm. 

I've been truly blessed in my 25 years. I've done some incredible things, met amazing life long people, and lived my life in a way that I am proud of living 25 years later. It's an incredible, humbling feeling waking up to day feeling 25 and Alive. and I can't wait to see what this next year hold for me. We joke about this "Quarter Life Crisis" that we all get at 25, but the truth is: what are we so afraid of? Why have we allowed ourselves to get old? I don't know about my fellow 25 year olds, but as for me, I am feeling pretty damn blessed to be as young as I still am and so deeply in love with life. 

25 Things I've learned by 25.

Growing up doesn't mean you have to grow old. 
There is such a difference between growing up and doing adult things VS doing adult things and feeling like that's all your life is. It's okay to grow up and turn a different age every year. It's okay to be an adult. Even though adulting can suck sometimes. But you are only as old as you feel. Allow yourself to be a kid and feel young. 

Live the life You want to live without apologizing.
I feel like we have this tendency to follow the path society has paved for us. Our parents did it, our grandparents did it, and hell even our great grandparents did it. Society tells us to live our lives in a certain way and follow certain rules. But why should we? This is the only time we get to be FREE and do what what makes us happy. So go Live your life and don't be sorry for it. 

Fall in Love with Yourself.
We search and search for that one person to change our lives and sweep us off our feet. It's not a bad thing. but it's not the most important. Stoping living in this idea that you have to have someone love you for you to be important in this world. Fall in love with yourself. Show the world how badass you are. There is only ONE you...so celebrate it. every day. 

Family is forever.
It's funny how when we are younger family is the last place we want to be. We want to be with our friends. But as we grow older, our family becomes our friends. our best friends even. As soon as you realize that your family is forever..you'll be living life 20x better than you imagined.

Quality not Quantity.
We all want more don't we? How selfish of us. When it comes to friends, I've learned that it doesn't matter if I have a huge group of friends when 1/2 of them really don't care about me. I used to need a lot of people around me to feel accepted and loved. But then after fall outs and blood between people I thought accepted and loved me, I realized once the smoke cleared I had a smaller group of people who stuck around and have my back. THOSE are the people worth having in your life. The quality of your friendships is so much more than the quantity will every be. Believe that. 

Stepping away from Situations are Okay.
I used to be told that stepping away from a situation made me immature. I was made to believe that by people I fell into conflict with. But the truth is, it's completely okay to pull yourself out of a situation or environment that is toxic to better your self. If the energy is toxic and things keep going in a circle unresolved, it's perfectly fine to remove yourself and move on. It's not immature but rather a decision you needed to make to better yourself. 

Some people just aren't your friends.
Do me a favor and stop trying to make a friendship work with someone who has screwed you over and over again. Really. It's pointless to keep beating that dead horse when the horse clearly is not going to get back up. It sucks, I know. I've been there. There are still times when I look at old friends and wish things could have ended up differently because our past was so memorable. But then I need to remember the direction my life is going in now and work on looking forward and not to the past where the ending was so miserable. Friendships may be rekindled once, maybe even twice, but if the toxicity keeps coming back something needs to change. Go Find your real friends. 

You're doing great. 
Stop comparing your life status to where others are in their lives. You are doing great with what you're doing and where you are going. If you are stuck it's probably because you are meant to be in that place right now. No matter where that place is, no matter how frustrated you get, just please remind yourself that you are doing the best you can in this moment. You're doing Great because you're great. 

Tell those you love that you love them.
Just do it. Don't ever wait. 

Saying Sorry doesn't make you weak or desperate. 
For the love of God, stop "not saying sorry" because you think it makes you look weak or desperate. Do you realize how big of a person you are being by swallowing your pride and saying Sorry first? Who cares if the other person doesn't accept it, like truly accept it, 85% of the time they won't. But who cares. You should be content in the fact that you took the step to get this weight off your shoulders so that you can move on. You do You Boo. Say your sorry and let the bitters be bitter. 

It's okay not to have your shit together at 25.
It really is. And if someone tell you that you HAVE to have your shit together. Smile and Keep doing you. That is all. 

Work is not the most important thing.
I mean in todays economy it's pretty important but it should be all you are worried about. Live your Life. You aren't going to make memories by working all the time. Have that Work and Play balance in your life. 

Healthy is Your Size.
Size doesn't matter. So tell whatever voices you have talking in your ear or in your head to shut up and sit down. Size is crap. Confidence however is important. If you don't like something about yourself than change it. But change it because you want to improve how YOU see yourself and not how you think society is going to label you as or accept you as. As long as you are healthy than thats all you need. Healthy is your Size, Not a number.

It's okay to have a breakdown.
You don't have to have it all figured out all the time. and when you're pissed off or sad it's totally okay to grab a glass of wine, take a bath, and sob your eyes out. Do it. It will make you feel better. Promise.

Believing in yourself doesn't make you cocky.
There is a different in believe in yourself and being a cocky asshole. Trust me. I think it's so important to believe in yourself and your abilities in this life. I feel like we often search for someone who will believe in us, for us. but the truth is, there is not greater pleasure or success than believing in how far you have to go and what you can achieve.

Standing up for yourself doesn't make you a bitch.
Standing up for yourself means you have the confidence in knowing who you are and what you're all about. Don't even let anyone tell you other wise. You are not a bitch when you stand up for what you believe it. It means you are strong, confident, and you don't take shit.

Your Parents are truly the Best Friend's You'll ever have.
I know through that teenage angst you aren't going to want to have anything to do with them. But I promise you the sooner you open up to them and let them be IN your life...you'll be much happier. I don't know what I would do without my parents. They are the only constants in my life that will have my back through hell and high waters. Let your parents be your best friends, the ones you make memories with and tell your secrets and drama too.

Smile at those who don't like you.
They will be confused and you'll get a good laugh. (and probably an eye roll or two). But the best part about it all, is you chose to walk past them with your head held high and a smile on your face. Be Happy, People hate it.

You don't have haters.
You really don't, sorry. Do you have people who dislike you? Definitley. but walking around with this idea that you have "Haters" is pretty ridiculous because here is the thing, people are "hating" on you because they have nothing better to do with their boring lives. They are projecting inner feelings they have about themselves onto you. So when you are feeling the lash from a near by acquaintance, just know that 95% of the time it has absolutely nothing to do with you, it has to do with them. They want to see you succeed but never do better than them. Simple as that.

Accept the Apology you never Received.
I'm telling you all right now, chance are if you are sitting here waiting to get that "Sorry" from someone...it probably won't happen so you need to move on. I have learned this SO much between the ages of 20-25. I've had more ups and downs with friendships than ever before, in a "I'd much rather go through high school again than deal with this BS"...yeah. So after a while of not getting an apology, I've had to learn that it's just not going to happen because some people just aren't big enough people to apologize. Once you learned to accept the apology you never got...i promise you that you will be 100% happier.

One Tree Hill still is the greatest show of all time.
I think I watch the series on DVD at least once a year. (It's also on netflix). I know every single word and yet it never gets old. It's also a good "go to" when you don't know what to do with your life situations. because i'm telling you, that shit is wisdomatic. (is that a word? it is now)

Establish a Work out routine that works for you.
If cross fit isn't your think...don't freaking do it. dear lord people. We don't always have to keep up with the trends to fit in and get fit. and if you don't have the money for a gym membership or you're like me and Gyms aren't your thing. Don't go. you can easily find a 'at home workout' that fits your needs and that you like. The important thing isn't your weight loss or muscle gain..It's that you are dedicating your time to being the healthiest YOU can be. Not the healthiest people are telling you to be.

Take time to do what makes your soul happy.
 You need YOU time. You need to do something that makes you happy. If that's going to the beach and laying on the sand. DO IT. If your happiness is laying in bed with a bag of doritos, boxed wine, and netflix...DO IT. Just take time to do what makes your soul happy and screw what everyone thinks.

Screw walking to your own Drum, Bust out in your own Musical. 
If you're gunna be weird, BE WIERD. If you're gunna do your own thing, DO IT BIG. Enough Said.


Turning 25 isn't as bad as you think.
Yeah I know, I'm in my earliest hours of the age...but I have friends who are terrified of turning 25 because they think their life is over. Hell No. I am embracing 25. I may just go rent a car today. But in all seriousness, if turning 25 is your biggest concern in life than you are doing pretty damn good. I don't know why people tell you its all "down hill" and over once you turn 25. I feel like my life is still just beginning. Does this mean I'm an adult now? Or is that not until 30? Shit. I'm still in my twenties so I'm going to party like a rockstar while I can. Embrace the Quarter Life!!!!!





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