Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Spring 2019: A Time to Bloom

The spring always brings me back to my childhood. Although a summer born baby, I feel more connected with what the spring brings. I love the moments when the birds wake up in the morning, singing their song for the world to hear. I love seeing flowers bloom freshly and I love the smell of fresh cut grass. It's truly the little things that bring me joy during this time of year. As a child, I skipped through creekbeds, climbed trees, and whistled along with the birds.  Carefree and wild like honeysuckle vines. I was who I was in that exact moment: Me. A untamed flower child of the 90's - loving her tye-dye world. 

With the blooming of spring, I see myself blooming as well. If the flowers are unafraid to bloom, neither am I. For what feels as if the first time in my life - I am unafraid. I am unafraid to bloom brightly, loudly, eccentric, and wild; for these are the very things that create my very essence. 

Over this last weekend, I had a moment of clarity that repeated "This is who you are" in my soul and for the first time I didn't try to fight back and say, "No it's not." I spent too much time picking the weeds (much like flaws) from myself, trying to have it all together, be the things people expected me to be, and trying to stay contained so I wasn't outcasted. But I have learned that I am not one to be contained. I am far too much like a garden of wildflowers. I rainbow of different forms. I'm dainty like a rose but I'm also bold like a sunflower. I blow in the wind like a dandelion and I stand firm like an orchid. I am not just one thing nor have I ever been. It has taken me these last, almost 9 years, of my 20's to realize this very thing about myself and furthermore, to accept it. 

Spring brings acceptance. Spring brings a light-hearted breeze that sings us the songs we wish to sing ourselves. Spring tells us its okay to sing those songs alongside her. It's okay to be weird, eccentric, driven by our heads in the clouds. Spring reminds us to not take life so seriously. Spring brought me the knowledge that it's okay to be playful and childlike. It's okay to roll around in the fresh, lush grass from time to time. To get messy before rinsing off with the garden hose.

With this, I bring hopes that I can grow and transform more into my being. A being that is unafraid to get messy, be messy, be dainty or bold, be contained or be wild. A being that isn't meant to be one thing but rather is all that she is and is becoming. A being that remembers the honeysuckle, the creekbeds, and the trees. Maybe spring isn't only about growth. Maybe it's about coming home again. Maybe it's about coming back untamed and coming back to loving a tye-dye world!

Monday, April 1, 2019

April 2019 Intention and Reflection

I am nothing without reflection. I remember when I was in my senior year of high school, a few of us decided to break curfew, lie to our parents about where we were and whose house we were staying at. The night was fun but it also ended pretty disastrously. Without telling you the long story: We all got grounded. At first, we all thought we had cheated our parents and got away with our big night out. But little by little our parents found out about our adventures and before the end of the week, I was sitting in a TV and phoneless room. Oh, the horror for today's millennials! 

During my time on lockdown, I began to reflect on the decisions I had made and how they could have ended worse than they actually did. We got pretty lucky in the consequence department with slim to none - only time grounded. After my week of continuous reflection, I discovered how important it was to reflect back on the time spent in this life and what we choose to do with that time. Meditation and reflection became a huge part of my life from that moment on. It was in that moment of clarity that I vowed to always spend the time to myself, listening and communicating. 11 years later, here I am - still in reflection. 

Every Fall I mention how it's my quiet time to reflect - and it's true. October - December is a major quiet time for me. But, so is April. April is my favorite month (of the warmer months) to sit in reflection about what I want to nurture and grow in the warmer months ahead. October is a time to rest. April is time to Grow. Last April was a whirlwind. March 2018 - October 2018 was what I like to call THE STORM. And last April I began to learn how to find Solid Ground during that storm. It has been a year of finding how to stand still and find balance against the high winds. I feel stronger than ever. 

This April, I am hoping to do the same. Sit Still and Listen. But this time, I have the knowledge with me that in order to Bloom, you have to learn to water yourself. The last few months I've heard the word "Nurture" in my meditation and I've been leaning into what that means for me and my life at this current moment in time. 

I truly believe it's My intuition telling me: 

"You've Healed so much. Now it's time to Blossom. To Grow and see what you can do!"

Yet, I still find myself sitting and listening. I no longer want to move at a fast pace. I don't want to get to my destination as quickly as I had wanted to before. I no longer need to ask for direction because I know I'm already heading in the direction I am meant to go in. The road may be full of twists and turns - but I find comfort and stillness, knowing that I am protected along the way. Through the shadows and the light - I'm blooming! 

I hope this April 2019 is a time for you to Bloom. A time where you soak in the sun and feel natures nourishment. Eat in color, drink your water, water your plants, and see what blooms around you as well as within you. Take advice from the butterflies - spread your wings and fly where you are called this spring. We are under an Aries influence until April 19th. Aries is of Action. We see everyone busy with projects this time of year, especially out in our gardens. Plant your seeds, water them daily, and watch the growth that happens before you. When Taurus season comes on April 20th, we will have plush grass to ground ourselves in. Both of these energies will guide us closer to our Souls Purpose. Let them nourish you!! 

Happy April, My Spring Babies!
Happy Birthday to my Aries!

What are some of your Spring-April Intentions? 

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

To The Girl Who Wishes She Chose a Simpler Path,

To the Girl who wishes She chose a simpler path,

I see you standing on the edge of that tobbled stone looking around to find a sign in which way to go next. That tobbled stone so cracked and unsteady worries you in each moment you even breathe. Don't worry, dear one, you'll soon find your balance at a level of strength that has been in you all along. 

I see you holding your breath as the shifting winds whirl around you at rapid speed trying to bend your knees just enough that you fall. You won't fall. Or maybe you will. But I promise you that if you fall this will be the perfect opportunity to see your world from a different perspective. 

I see you laying on the dampened ground; dampened by the tears you've wept while screaming out your worries and fears. Unfold from that fetal position you're holding onto so tightly. Allow your face to look up and see what is ahead of you. Do you see the sun? 

I see you thinking the world is spinning out of control like a neverending merry-go-round. Hold tight, dear one, Look Up and see what is ahead of you. Do you see the sun?

You'll face the crossroads many times in your life. There is no one way of doing things just as there is no one way to get to where you are going. The path will always be paved before you; you just have to open your eyes to look at what it is.

Your path was not meant to be simple. It was not meant to be smooth. It was meant to be designed just as it has always been for you - to test your endurance and your willingness to keep going even after you've fallen from that tobbled stone. You were meant to emerge. 

Emerge Dear One! Step forward and release fear from your very being. Laugh back at those who laugh at your eagerness to live your life. Don't be afraid to travel alone when you need to. Look up at the sky and follow the sun. Climb to the highest mountain, Open your lungs, lift your hands to the sky and scream your truest truths. You've found your way! Look at you go, Dear One! Living! There is your path! Do you see the sun?

INSTAGRAM @ash_felkner || TWITTER @ashleefelkner

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

March 2019: Pisces New Moon

On the 18th of February, we welcomed PISCES as her season awoke. We have been under her wing, floating among our dreams since then. For Today's New Moon, Pisces asks you to continue just that. Dreaming. 

New Moon in Pisces Exact
March 6th, 2019
8:02am PST

Why do we celebrate the New Moon?
The New Moon is the very start of our moon cycle, a time when the sun and moon are conjunct (joined together) in the same sign and the energies are sending us powerful signs and instructions. This is the time to spend speaking to the intentions that we want to set for this next month - what we wish to manifest into our lives. Our moon is now dark, and although dark, a beautiful stillness radiates through our sky and into our very existence. We are able to catch a glance at our future with hopes and dreams during this time, and just as the new moon is in its rebirth stage so is our future. Thus, we celebrate the endless possibilities that we are beginning to manifest. 

When The New Moon meets up in Pisces, it is time to dream. This is the time to let go of all control and let our minds wander into the truest depths of our desires. Our Divine Guidance this New Moon is that of OUR Highest SELF. Our intuition is our guide on this New Moon. Pisces, ruled by water, is the sign of the fish. She goes with the flow in whatever direction the current pulls her. She is unafraid of the direction she is going in because she knows she'll end up exactly where she is meant to be.

Pisces asks you to surrender. Let go of fear and tension caused by fear. This isn't a time to get all wrapped up in your anxieties and Pisces asks you to remain calm during her time. Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be and the things you desire are coming to you in divine timing. The Universe has its plans for you. *Look at your Natal Chart. If you are continuously asking for the same things new moon after new moon and there has been no progress; Don't worry. It is not your time to have those things. The universe will present you with what you need when the timing for your life is right. 

Pisces asks you to stop trying to write your life in detail. Release the idea that you are in control. Instead of being super detailed on your intentions this particular new moon, try being open to what the universe is presenting to you. Set intentions asking "What Do I Need?" instead of asking what you WANT. What do you need at this exact moment that will help you grow in the present time? Look to Pisces for guidance but let your intuition make the overall decision. Remember, this New Moon is not about what we WANT, it is about what we NEED. Although you may ask for something particular, be open to receiving something different for the time being. 

Pisces is internal and introverted when it comes to dreaming. She likes to nestle up in a comfortable spot and daydream. Today and Tomorrow, allow yourself to do the same. Set time aside, even if it's before bed, to sit in silence and meditate. Focus on what is going on in your mind, body, soul, and heart. I suggest having a notebook and pen nearby to scribble down anything that comes through your mind during this time. Awareness. Let your intuition guide your meditation and see what comes up. If emotions arise, let them. You need the release in order to receive. Pause. Breathe. Accept. Reset. 
Focus on numbers, words, or ideas that run through your mind - this is your highest self trying to tell you something. You can look up meanings and decode after your meditation. Dream Away, My Darling!

Lastly, This New Moon is happening right at the start of our Mercury Retrograde. (March 5th - March 28th) Mercury is the planet that rules communication. When planets go into retrograde, especially Mercury, we have the tendency to move with fear. Be Cautious but be not afraid. Retrogrades are asking you to turn inward and have the hard hitting conversations with yourself. Since Mercury Retrograde aligns with this New Moon in Pisces, a dreamy moon, take the time to really have the conversations with yourself about your desires. Pisces is there to remind you that no dream is too big, just like an ocean where Pisces and Neptune (its ruler) reside, your dreams are boundless. Look to the sunset on the water and let it guide you. Allow Mercury Retrograde to open wounds so they can heal. Retrogrades have the tendency to bring the past back into your life. This can come in the form of an old friend, past relationship, old work/business detail, etc. Nothing will be left unfinished by the end of this retrograde. Go with the Flow (Pisces).

Dream Big, My Darlings! 
Breathe Deep and Good Luck! 

INSTAGRAM: @ash_felkner || Twitter: @ashleefelkner
My ETSY: Gemini Heart CO